How to Talk to Your Teen About
As children approach their teen years, they begin to experience many emotional and physical changes, and these changes can be challenging. Some youth may experiment with alcohol to try to deal with the challenges of growing up. For most youth, it is not just one thing that influences them to drink, but rather a combination of factors. These factors can include stress caused by a desire to fit in or to get good grades.
For some youth, going to a new school can be a trigger.
No matter what issues your child is facing, one of the best things you can do to prevent them from turning to alcohol is to talk with them.
Short, frequent discussions can have a real impact on your child’s decisions about alcohol. Talking to your child at an early age about drinking is the first step toward keeping them alcohol-free. But as they enter junior high and high school, the pressure to try alcohol increases. It’s important to continue the conversation throughout adolescence.
Talking often builds an open, trusting relationship with your child. Young people are more likely to avoid drinking when they have a strong, trusting relationship with their parents. Get into the habit of chatting with your child every day. It will make it easier to have serious conversations about things like alcohol and will make your child more comfortable coming to you
Lots of little talks are more effective than one “big talk.” Sitting down for the “big talk”
about alcohol can be intimidating for both you and your child. Try using everyday opportunities to
talk—in the car, during dinner, or while you and your child are watching TV. Having lots of little talks takes the pressure off trying to get all of the information out in one lengthy discussion, and
your child will be less likely to tune you out.
When you do talk about alcohol, make your views and rules clear. Take the time to discuss your beliefs and opinions about alcohol with your child. Be honest and express a clear, consistent message that underage drinking is unacceptable. When they feel that you are being real and honest with them, they will be more likely to respect your rules about underage drinking.
As children get older, the conversation changes. What you say to a 9-year-old about alcohol is different from what you say to a 15-year-old. Young people also can’t learn all they need to know from a single discussion. Make sure that the information you offer your child fits their age. As they get older, you can give them more information and reinforce your rules.
Remember that the conversation goes both ways. Although talking to your child about your thoughts about alcohol is essential, it is also important to hear their point of view. Give your child the opportunity to ask you questions, and listen to what they have to say. Young people who have parents who listen to their feelings and concerns are more likely to say “no” to alcohol.
What you do is just as important as what you say. In addition to talking often with your child about alcohol, it’s important to set a good example. If you choose to drink, you can positively influence your child by drinking in moderation and NEVER driving when you have been drinking. Be aware of where you keep your alcohol, and always remind your child that the alcohol in your house is off-limits.
In short, keep these tips in mind and
- Be involved in your children’s lives.
- Encourage your children’s growing independence, but set appropriate limits.
- Make it easy for your children to share information about their lives.
- Know where your children are, what they are doing, whom they are with, and whom they are friends with.
- Make an effort to get to know the parents of your children’s friends. Share your rules about not allowing alcohol use.
- Find ways for your children to be involved in family life such as doing chores or caring for a younger sibling.
- Set clear rules, including rules about alcohol use. Enforce the rules you set.
- Help your children find ways to have fun without alcohol.
- Do not let your children attend parties at which alcohol is served. Do not allow alcohol at parties in your own home.
- Help your children avoid dangerous situations such as riding in a car driven by someone who has been drinking.
- Help your children get professional help if you are worried about their involvement with alcohol.
- Create a pledge between yourself and your children that promises they will not drink alcohol.
Source: the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
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